2012 !

Wow! The time sure has flown over the last few months!
We had a busy Christmas/New Year's, then back to the old grind-stone with work and school.

I've had a few comments sent in asking if my story was over or if this was the end.

In case you've missed it, the title of my blog is 'My Life Unchained'.
I don't know about you, but I can still feel my heart beating...So I think my life is still goin' strong!  :)

Just because I'm not constantly filling you in on my deepest, darkest secrets, doesn't mean I'm done, I'm just very busy.  (three children 6 and under, a full-time job, and a life kinda make me busy!) 

Living a life unchained doesn't mean that there won't be hardships or even heart break. Leaning and depending on God for all your needs is key when dealing with life.

I heard something today from a friend of mine,  'Pessimists look at a glass as being half empty, while Optimists look at it as half full...How 'bout we just be glad that we have a glass at all?'

I believe that there are too many 'Christians' out there that are looking at things from the wrong perspective.
Are we focusing so much on the negative things going on in our lives, that we ignore reality?
Or are we living in a bit of a dream land instead of actually putting our words to action?

I would associate negativity with pride. I realize that that may be a bit much for some to handle, but keep in mind that every one of us has an issue with pride in one form or another. It is how we handle it that helps us become mature adults.

Are the insults, gossip, and insinuations going to sting? Of course!! 
But we have to remind ourselves, that the other person is still a human being. That they may also have a hurting heart, and as hard as it may seem we need to view those that hurt us the way God views them.

I Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

It's not a sin to ignore those that are hurting you...Pray for them, then move on with your life.


Yes, its one of those things that is easier said than done...But if you try and keep the burden on yourself, it will eat you up and bitterness will creep in.


I know that there are MANY people out there that fully expected my blog to 'hurt' my father, or even close his church down.
That wasn't and is still not my intention.


I am extremely thankful that I have been able to connect with, relate to,  and help so many others out there that are hurting.

What Are You Thankful For ?

What with this past weekend being Thanksgiving, I'm sure we've all had people asking us this question.

Some of the obvious answers I think we've all heard or even said ourselves are our homes, children, spouses, salvation, church, etc, etc.

However, have you ever thought to actually thank God for the trials that He has allowed you to deal with and go through?  Or have you become bitter and disgruntled over those things?

I can't say that I am covered by armor that protects me from some of the harsh comments from some of you. I am (after all) human and have feelings like anybody else.

I know that for myself, the things that God has ALLOWED to happen to me throughout my entire life have made me into more of the person that HE wants me to be.

Looking at the fact that my relationship with my mom has been dissolved, it has changed my heart as a mother myself.
I am taking the time to not care as much if my house is spotless (which it RARELY is) and spending more time when my girls want to cuddle, play outside, or just sit and watch a movie with me.

I thank God every day for my children and the great joy they bring to my life.

With my siblings no longer being in my life, it has made me much more patient inside. 
Yes, I can train horses and deal my little ones patiently, but when it came to other things my heart wasn't nearly as patient.
I know that God has and is working in my brothers' and sister's hearts and that one day I will be able to get together with them as a family and that our children will finally get to know each other.

It has been said that I need to get down and go to them and talk, but that has already been done on my part.
I have found peace in knowing that I have done what I need to, to bring reconciliation between my siblings and I. The rest is off my shoulders.

I will not lie just so that there can be a good relationship, that goes against everything I believe and what the Bible teaches.

I have been blessed to have a little communication (although not always positive) with a few of my brothers.
And I thank God for being able to keep close with the majority of my extended family down in the U.S., even in the midst of the storm I have found true family and friends.

I am constantly being honed and refined into the woman that I need to be, and tho it hurts alot at times I know that as long as I stay close to Him I will continue to grow and mature.

So, the next time you start to feel over-whelmed with something(s) that's going on in your life, just remember that nothing happens that God doesn't have to allow first.

And no matter what it is that you're having to deal with, if you stay close to Him you will be better for it.

September 30th, 2011

I heard something quite amusing this past week.

Apparently, there's a rumor going around that my blog has been shut down due to police investigation.

While I have no idea if the police are interested in my blog, it is definitely still up and running.  :)

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It has been a busy summer, and now that my two oldest have started grade 1 life has again changed for me as a mom.

I am currently part of a moms' group here at our church, and this morning we had a guest speaker come in and talk to us about what GOD wants for our children and their futures.
She said that even though we may see a natural talent in our child, want them to follow in our footsteps, or even change what WE may think is a bad personality trait, how we 'train' or talk to our child has a huge impact on his/her future.

I was immediately brought back to the time when I was about 9 years old and my fathers' church held a missions conference.
There were some missionaries on their way to Kenya, Africa and I felt such a burden for those little kids in the poor areas.
I remember going forward and surrendering my life to the mission field of Africa. I also had a massive love for science and pretty-much all things that had to do with nature, dirt, animals, medicine, (oh yeah, I could go on and on) 
So I decided that not only would I be a missionary to Africa, I would be a missionary DOCTOR to Africa!

I remember seeing my parents on several occasions, bragging to people that were passing through or just some of the new people that they were getting to know, that their oldest child was going to be a missionary doctor to Africa.
I could always hear the great pride in my moms' voice as she would talk to her friends about my 'calling'.

I can't remember the exact year that it was, but I do remember finding out that in order to become a doctor you had to 'endure' at least 7 years of college/university....I remember looking at my mom and saying, "NO WAY!!!"
That was just too much schooling for this girl!
I then decided that I would become a nurse. There was a hospital that had a two year nursing course, so I thought that it would be perfect for me.

As the years went on, the desire and 'calling' didn't seem nearly as strong or clear to me. Yes, I had compassion for the children and families in war torn areas of Africa, but the desire and longing to go and help felt like it was fading away.

I know that my mom is still extremely disappointed in me because of my decision to not become a missionary in a foreign field.
But I am quite a stubborn/strong-willed individual (in case you all haven't noticed), and I believe that God did give me that desire and calling in my life as a child to keep me focused on something that was totally God centered.

I NEEDED something like that to stay on the  'straight and narrow' as they call it. God knew that, as He knows all His children inside and out.

a lot
No one else could get a person through such hard times and trials as I and others have had to endure at the hands of my own flesh and blood.

Proverbs 22:6
    Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it.


For quite some time now, I have viewed that verse differently. Not just because of my own life experiences but also because of how I look at my Beautifuls.(that's what I call my daughters)

When we look at that verse and see that it says 'the way he should go', I believe that too many of us parents are the ones deciding what the 'way' is for our children's' lives.

How do we as mere human beings know what GOD'S plan is for our children??

I've told a few friends of this particular story, but now I'll fill you in too. I believe that it may help some of the mothers out there. ('cause I know it helped me)

car-seats
I would envision us getting into a car accident of some sort, and not being able to escape, etc.

Then one morning as I was heading home from milking at a dairy farm, it hit me... Who was I to be so concerned with these crazy fears of mine, when they're not my children...They're GOD'S!
I had to pull the car over because I started to cry so much.
I was supposed to care, nurture, and protect my beautifuls, but it wasn't any of my business to concern myself with the things that were out of my control.

I (for some reason) was blessed enough by God Himself to give me these three little lives to raise for Him.
To do whatever HE wants them to.

Even those little babies that God has seen fit to take back to Himself were blessings to the parents for the short time they were here.

I love my daughters SO MUCH, but it would be bad for them if I were to concern myself with earthly desires that I may have for their lives/futures.

All THREE of my beautifuls are strong-willed and stubborn. (JUST LIKE ME!!)
But I can also say, from personal experience, that being strong-willed and stubborn can give amazing results when aimed in the direction that God has given.

Have I slipped along the way?  Oh yeah!  But God is merciful, and gracious, and...believe it or not....He loves us more than any love you can or will experience here on earth.

Though my girls may not (probably won't) always do what I think is the right thing to do, I hope that I can be a guiding and strong influence in their lives so that they can look at their mom and her life and say, 'I want to be like my mom and serve God!'