The Stars

One of the many things that I love about living in the country (and yes, the word 'many' doesn't do justice lol), 

is the fact that you can see the stars. Thousands and thousands of them...twinkling, shooting and falling from the sky in a gorgeous display of God's creation.

Because I work the night shift at a dairy farm, I am blessed to be able to see many prairie sunsets and the amazing stars on nearly every clear night. 

One night as I arrived home from work, I stood outside our home and just watched the skies. I regularly use this time to talk to God, my Father, this night was no different...until it was...

The emotions came rushing up, it was as if a tidal wave came from out of the literal blue and I was overcome with tears.

Why was this so intense, you might ask?

Well this night was the first of many nights where I, as a 40 something year old woman, was looking up and enjoying the stars 100% by choice!

This was not a time to escape the stress and violence that I've come to know as life, 

this was not a time where I was seeking release in order to cry out to God in desperation in the season I was in.

This was peace.

I don't know why I've not felt such peace prior to this night. Maybe my heart wasn't there yet, maybe I wasn't truly ready to accept it...until now.

I'm not saying that I've now 'succeeded' and that I've 'made it', because I most certainly have not and am nowhere near ready to say I'm even close. But God has now given me a massive window into what my future holds and I am excited to see what other 'moments' He will be giving me.

Love ya!

I Chose This Life

 Several months ago I had the mother of one of my kids' friends offer to 'help with university' as I 'must feel like I've been held back and unable to truly make something of my life due to my horrible past.'. 

She wasn't super impressed by the fact that I work at a dairy farm. Didn't I feel cheated out of making something of my life by not going to university like she was able to? 

Umm...nope! 

I have always loved working with dairy cows, not necessarily always with certain people over my 20+ years in the dairy industry but, I have never regretted my decision to not go to university and pursue a different career.

I love where God has placed me today. I am able to spend time with and homeschool my son Dexter, I am available for any and all medical appointments and school functions for my girls AND I only live 5 minutes from my job! I mean really, why would I complain?!?!?

An added bonus, is that I am able to contribute financially to our household, which is a big thing for me. I have tried being the stay at home mom that I see so many other women achieve (with success, I might add), but that life is just not for me or my family...at least not at this stage of our lives.

I don't feel gipped out of being able to go to University. It's not that I am against it or anything, I've just not had enough of an inkling to go, never mind spend the money on it. It has been and still remains a willful decision on my part.

So ladies, please leave other women alone. Don't attack their career choices or lack thereof. It's one thing if someone is searching for help/assistance in an area, but don't make them feel like they are 'less than' just because they do something that to you is a little on the ordinary side. 

February 3, 2023

The responsibilities of a mom.

Man, the weight and pressure of being a mom does NOT get easier with age...and I'm not just referring to my children's growth Ha Ha!

My oldest two kidlets are turning 18 this year and GRADUATING! WHAT?!?!?! 

And so goes the process of dealing with the crazy brain waves of my mommy self. 

Did I do a good job?

Are they going to be good humans in this insane world?

Are they going to make a positive difference in others' lives?

I was thinking all of the above last night as I was working, then had to stop myself.

I had left out one very important question in all of this...

Will they do what GOD'S will is for their life?

There it is. My (and a lot of other parents') reason for raising your children right. 

We raise them in the hopes that they will make a difference by having God's Light shining through them and blessing those around them.

I think that we as moms especially, put a lot of unnecessary pressure on ourselves when the command is simple, really....Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  *Prov. 22:6

That verse doesn't say that you are guaranteed to see the fruits of your parenting. It doesn't say that you will see your children in service to God during your time on this earth. It says that when your child is old, he will not depart from it.

Philippians 4:6-7

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

As a mom it is SO easy to slip into that pit of worry and discouragement. I know this first hand. But you and I can totally survive this if we follow after the heart of God. 

I apologize if this post is a bit rambling, but this is just what's been swimming in my mom brain these last several months and I know I'm not the only parent who is struggling with the humaness to worry and be depressed or feel discouraged.

If we as parents do our best with God leading us, then that is all we can and should be doing. 

There does come a point when your child will make mistakes, but you and I have become the people we are today because of the lessons we ourselves had to learn...all by ourselves!

So ALL of that to say,

You got this! Keep your head up! Don't let the devil distract you from your walk with God. Press into the Lord and He will lead and guide you. Be sensitive and teachable in all areas of your life and I promise you, you will never be disappointed!

Be that Godly example your children need to see.

Love ya!