Even though I don't need to defend myself, based on some of the comments thrown both on this blog and others,I feel I should clear something up.
I and two other pastors set up a meeting that was to be with JUST my mother and father.
When we arrived at my dads' church, my father had ALL of his deacons there as well as Dr. Dell.
My situation WAS to be a family matter, but my father himself decided to make it a church matter.
He was confronted by myself AND two pastoral witnesses in front of his own deacons.
I did as the Bible commands we as believers to do,but was only treated as a rebellious daughter and was not taken seriously by those in leadership at that time.
I have, and am still seeking counselling in this entire matter.
I would strongly advise any and all others who have suffered as I have to also get counselling.
You are not alone.
I and two other pastors set up a meeting that was to be with JUST my mother and father.
When we arrived at my dads' church, my father had ALL of his deacons there as well as Dr. Dell.
My situation WAS to be a family matter, but my father himself decided to make it a church matter.
He was confronted by myself AND two pastoral witnesses in front of his own deacons.
I did as the Bible commands we as believers to do,but was only treated as a rebellious daughter and was not taken seriously by those in leadership at that time.
I have, and am still seeking counselling in this entire matter.
I would strongly advise any and all others who have suffered as I have to also get counselling.
You are not alone.
if only this area had a spiritual abuse and recovery center...
ReplyDeleteLaura, my heart aches for you. To think that a father, and a pastor at that, willfully chose to push you aside as a rebellious daugther, is hard to believe. Did your dad not even listen to the reasoning of the other pastors? Why do the deacons stand behind PMS when they know that you followed the biblical standard of approaching someone who is in the wrong? You tried. Your husband has tried. Your grandparents have tried. Yet in the eyes of PMS's followers, you are still all in the wrong!! How much blinder than that can a person be?? I trust that you are on the road to healing. I know it must be VERY hard to live your life not ever having your parents or your siblings by your side. I can tell you that one of your brothers has become my family member through marriage, but for his sake, I won't mention his name. I know that God has not brought you this far to let you down. It was and is in HIS plan for you to share your story, and I do believe that good already has and will continue to come out of it. May the Lord bless you, Laura.
ReplyDeleteLaura, your situation brings tears to my eyes just thinking about the pain you and others have gone through. One of your siblings are also related to me through marriage. There is so much unnecessary pain and division that has been created by Mike Sullivant. Our Father notices every sparrow that falls to the ground. Laura, others feel your pain, and cry your tears with you. Some of us in the community are also grieving along with you.
ReplyDeleteIt’s been said that the theme at PVBC this year is “Prayer First”. It’s also been said that since the church has started praying more, the Devil has been attacking more. Perhaps. But let’s consider the other alternative.
ReplyDeletePastor Mike has had many years to make things right in private. Since he hasn’t done so, it is the Lord himself trying to get his attention through these blogs. The Lord wants to bless PVBC abundantly, “But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.” Isaiah 59:2 Pastor Mike, the Lord’s warnings are getting more intense. You better listen to what He wants you to do! It’s not too late, “Behold the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy that it cannot hear.” Isaiah 59:1 If you don’t humble yourself and admit that it was simply pride that caused you all this strife, I’m afraid what action the Lord will take next.
Dear members at PVBC. One day, you will have to answer to the Lord for your loyalty this man. Always keep in mind, Pastor Mike is a master mind-manipulator. He knows how to twist every situation to appear that he has done nothing wrong. He has a way of endearing his followers to him. If you are saved, you have the Holy Spirit endwelling in your soul. Play close attention to the Holy Spirit, and less attention to a mere man. Keep your mind on guard. The Lord will show you what he wants you to know. Pay close attention to that still small voice.
One of the characteristics of an abusive church (call it what you will), is that the members continually defend their shepherd (more like dictator), even when he is in sin. Like I mentioned earlier, as a believer, we will have to give an account for this. Be wise.
The above comment was well spoken. PVBC members need to be given an alternative. Mike Sullivant convinces them that no other church even comes close to following the "true" teachings of the bible the way that PVBC does. That doesn't leave the members with much choice, does it? The truth of the matter is that if Mike Sullivant was replaced tomorrow, members would very quickly see that much of what is being preached across the pulpit is Mike Sullivant's personal preferences and interpretations on how things should be done. A man that can cut out his own parents, daughter and grandchildren from his life because they disagree with him has no right to misrepresent himself and the Christian faith by saying his church is "A Church with a Heart for People", as stated on PVBC's main website. It would be difficult to come up with a better example of blasphemy.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that most PVBCer's get very defensive and hatefull on here? Why is it that they love to point out that everyone except them is wrong and going to hell? And why is it that they think everything on here is lies?
ReplyDeleteI don't attend PVBC. And I don't know Laura or PMS, so as an observer, PVBC sure sounds like a cult. And when PVBCer's get mad and So very defensive on here, it's makes it sound that much more like a cult. If you PMS defenders really believe that he hasn't done the stuff people on here are saying ha has, this blog and the comments wouldn't bother you. But in your mind you have some doubts about him after reading this. But with everything in you, you don't want it to be true. That's why you get so defensive when someone tells you what he has done. And when all you can say is "where's your proof?". It makes him and you sound guilty as charged. Just like when a criminal is accused of doing wrong, when all the criminal can say is "prove it". That makes him sound very guilty and his only hope of getting away with it is hoping no one can prove he did it.
The more you defend PMS, the more it sounds like what Laura, her Grandparents, and Pete are saying is the truth. Why does everyone except PVBCer's believe Laura? Even all the people that don't know her or PMS? It's because of the way you defend him. And alot of you treat people on here just like PMS has been accused of treating alot of people. Not all to the same extreme, but along the same lines. When someone writes something on here against PMS, that you can't explain or even defend. You call that person a hypocrite, a liar, and in your mind you've condemned them for saying anything about your pastor who can't, and has never done anything wrong. You yourselves have said that people have been church disciplined, were not adhering to the will of the church. We're not suppose to live according to a church, but according to the will of GOD as it says in HIS Bible.
So when you yourselves call it "the will of the church". We can all hear that it doesn't matter to you what the passages in the Bible actually mean, it just matters to you what PMS SAYS the passages mean.
So when someone reads all this without being on one side or the other, PVBC very much sounds like a cult! And I hope and pray if PMS is guilty as charged, that all the people that follow him, and put him first in their lives, Will see what's really going on before it's to late.
And why wouldn't you just take a bit of a step back, and with an open mind, try asking him some of the questions that people say they've been church disciplined for? From what I've read I think I know the answer to that. It's because you're scared of what you'll find out. Do you know that that's exactly how cults get stronger? It's when people are scared of questioning the leader. And don't tell me that you won't question him because you think it's wrong to question a pastor. That's nothing but an excuse because you're scared of what you might find. Why wouldn't you want to know the truth? Are you scared of being Publicly flogged and disgraced? That's what it sounds like to me. but you'll be better off doing it now if it was to turn bad, than later.
I also know from reading all the comments on this blog, that alot of the PMS and PVBC defenders will say that because I don't know PMS, i don't know what I'm talking about. And I shouldn't say anything. Well just so you know, Cults are a terrible thing. They hurt ALOT of people, physically and mentally. And they never end well. And if PVBC is a cult, I would do whatever I could to expose it and make sure the people responsible and held accountable.
Rebecca "Elias" Harder, spiritual abuse and recovery center? Do you know more about this? How does such a center gain traction and support in the Winkler area? There is a dire need for it. Too much pain and abuse has taken place for too long, and too many people have suffered silently.
ReplyDeleteBen, may I suggest treading a little more softly? I believe that most members of the Pembina Valley Baptist Church are truly devoted to what they believe is right and good. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Keep in mind that Pastor Mike Sullivant fosters a powerful us/them mentality, and any opposing thoughts and opinions are not permitted, or tolerated. That's why the practice of being "church disciplined" needs to be so harsh and final. Many members don't see another option available to them, and in their eyes, follows the true meaning of what the God's word teaches. That's one of the reasons why blogs like this are so valuable. It allows members to be exposed to the thoughts and feelings of non-members and ex-members, and helps to dispel the myth that all people outside of the Pembina Valley Baptist are either unsaved, or bitter and angry.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have read this blog, and Laura it took a lot of guts to write about these things. I have had a somewhat similar experience with church and have managed over many years to come out of the hurt enough to see it more clearly. I currently do not attend a "church" but do get together with other believers. It is difficult for many churches to receive any idea that has not already been established by the particular denominational slant that is accepted there. It is obvious that the control that pastors and church leaders have over congregations is based on fear and a need for power/control. I have found that many church-goers do not think for themselves when it comes to anything spiritual, and this is scary because these people will close their eyes to even an obvious tyranny from the pulpit. All the best to you.
ReplyDeleteHow can one man's leadership cause so much pain and division in a community? Friends and family in the community have been hurt so much by the way that some Pembina Valley Baptist Church members cut those who they were close to out of their lives. I can't help but think of Matthew 7:20, and how this scripture reflects on Pastor Michael Sullivant's own family, and the church as a whole: "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." If Pembina Valley Baptist Church's mission is to be a witness to Jesus Christ, and to set an example for others to follow, then PLEASE stop excluding those people in your life that love and care about you. From personal experience, it is only creating greater distance between members of PVBC and those they are trying to save.
ReplyDeleteTo Ben June 30, 2011 7:34pm. I really enjoyed reading your blog. You have amazing insight into the whole thing! I believe that you spoke for a lot of people who have loved ones at pvbc and who have been shunned and pushed aside by pvbcers. Well said. May God bless you for your insight.
ReplyDelete"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." ~ Abraham Lincoln
ReplyDeleteLaura and Pete Reimer, is this the end of your story, or is there more that you are going to share? I see there is nothing more being said, so I was just wondering. May the Lord lead and guide you in your path to healing and forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteIt is my hope & prayer for all who read your blog to consider the subject of "spiritual abuse". It is human (sin) nature to abuse those closest to us. Everyone is guilty of abuse to some degree. Abuse includes what is perceived as abuse. We as believers need to communicate to each other when we have been hurt (offended & abused) by another. Sometimes there is a delay in our talking about our event or situation. May your situation be resolved by God's grace in God's time. May each of you be an example to others that many may face this subject of abuse realizing that abuse happens. That we should face it and not deny it. Any person in authority will be guilty of abuse in some way shape or form in at least a mild sense of what is perceived as abuse. Most will accept mild occurences of abuse. It is when abuse escalates to a moderate or severe form that the time comes to go to the offender and point it out (let the chips fall where they may). I am going to pray regularly for each of you to be reconciled one to another. What a great example that would be to so many. God's hand of blessing would be so upon you all that He would open the windows of heaven and poor you all out a blessing. I believe that with all my heart. God bless.
ReplyDelete